The CV of the Year

ဒီ CV ေလးကို ေတာ္ေတာ္သေဘာက်တယ္။ ရီရတယ္။ ဒါေပမယ္႕ သူအလုပ္ရသြားတယ္ေနာ။ ရိုးသားလို႕တဲ႕ေလ။
This is an actual job application that a 17-year-oldboy submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options anda Michael Ovitzstyle severance package. If that's not possible, makean offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection ofstolen pens and'post-it' notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That's why I'm applying.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one,would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas witha fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I'm the greatestthing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TOTHE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries